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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704165">I don't want to lose this feeling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rooraism/pseuds/Rooraism'>Rooraism</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Downton Abbey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Fluff, I'm Bad At Summaries, and happiness, giving thomas the life he deserves, i'm back at it again</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:40:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,729</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23704165</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rooraism/pseuds/Rooraism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas and Richard's night goes from date night to family night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I don't want to lose this feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wasn't 100% happy with this, but decided to posted it despite my feelings. All the editing done by me, so mistakes highly possible. The title is from The Bangle's song "Eternal Flame". Hope you enjoy this story of happy Thomas.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>”Here you are Mr. Barrow” Thomas lifted his head from the papers and saw Phyllis standing at the door. </p>
<p>”Here I am, like usually yes. Did you want anything?” Thomas looked suspiciously at Phyllis.<br/>”I was just wondering, if you might have wanted to come to the fair with me and mr. Molesley” Phyllis answered.</p>
<p>”And ruin your date? Thank you, but no thank you.” When Phyllis opened her mouth to give an answer, most likely trying to tell Thomas he wouldn't ruin anything, Thomas continued ”It's not like I don't want to come with you, I would, but I kind of.. well I have already promised to meet Richard there.” Thomas could feel the blush rising under Phyllis' stare. It was ridiculous how easily talking about Richard still made him blush, he was a grown man for god's sake. </p>
<p>”Oh, well then I won't be bothering you no more. I'm glad you and mr. Ellis get on so well” <br/>”So am I” Thomas admitted, not able to stop the smile rising on his face. He really was like a child with a crush. </p>
<p>Phyllis smiled, looking very happy for Thomas, before closing the door and leaving to make sure everything that needed to be done was done, so they could leave as soon as possible. </p>
<p>Luckily to the workers, the family had left to London for the weekend, only leaving the children behind, so him and others could first time in a long while spend some time outiside without needing to worry about returning. Thomas crossed the final things off his left, stood up and  left the butler's office, following others upstairs and get himself ready to leave. He couldn't wait to see Richard again, who had come all the way from London (under the disguise of  wanting to see his parents) just to spend time with him. Thomas still couldn't really believe that he had been lucky enough to have such a wonderful man interested in him, and actually wanting a proper relationship (as proper as they could). </p>
<p>After dressing up in his nicest casual outfit, and spraying on some of the perfume Richard had sent him as a gift last Christmas, Thomas made his way down, only to catch the backdoor closing after Anna. For a few seconds, at that moment, all by himself in dark hallway, he could feel the loneliness of his past returning to him. Once again, he was left behind. Suddenly he felt slight touch against his back.</p>
<p>”Here you are, I thought you had changed your mind” Thomas turned around, only to see man of his dreams standing in front of him, full smile on his face. Seeing Thomas' face made Richard's smiling face turn into concerned one. <br/>”Are you okay?” He asked, bringing his hands to Thomas' face, gently holding it between his hands. Just this simple gesture made Thomas insides fill with love, and made the sadness leave his head.</p>
<p>”Yes. Had a little moment there, but now that you are here, it's all fine.” Thomas laughed, bringing his own hands on top of Richard's, taking them on his own, and pulling the other man in for a quick kiss. </p>
<p>”Well I'm glad. We should follow the other though and leave too, if we want to enjoy the fair fully.” Richard laughed, starting to pull Thomas after him, out of the door and towards the centre of the town. </p>
<p>The weather was absolutely amazing that night, which was rare in England, and the whole nigh so far had been just as amazing. Richard and Thomas had spent last few hours walking around the fair, drinking, eating and even playing some games (Richard had even won Thomas a small mouse shaped stuffed animal from one of the dodgy games). Despite the fact that they could not act outside as couple, they had tried to make it as date-like as possible. Thomas didn't think he had ever been this happy before (he felt like that every time he was with Richard, and everytime it was true). Before, these fairs used to make him feel really down. And for once, Thomas felt like he deserved this happiness, after everything he had been through. He could only hope that Richard felt he same way (the way Richard had been smiling the whole evening made Thomas' think he did).</p>
<p>The pair was stading in front of one of the tents when the nanny suddenly showed up, looking worried. </p>
<p>”Mr. Barrow, could it be possible, that you looked after master George for a while. Miss Charlotte here started to feel ill, and I have to take her back to the abbey, but master George doesn't want to leave yet since we just came, and I thought maybe you, or Anna if you manage to find her, could look after him. I will come back to pick him up soon.” Nanny just went on, without letting Thomas answer. He looked at Richard who, knowing Thomas' question, just nodded. </p>
<p>”You can calm down. Of course we take him. And you don't have to worry, we bring him back to Downton and I will bring him upstairs when we arrive.” Thomas smiled, trying to make the nanny feel as ease as possible about the thought of leaving George with Thomas and Richard. Before Nanny could give an answer, the small boy yelled in joy and ran to hug Thomas' leg. George's excitement made all three adults laugh. </p>
<p>”That's good then. I'm going back to Downton to take care of this one. Children always tend to get sick when their parents are away” Nanny said and left the fair. <br/>”Well, what should we do then?” Richard asked after a minute of silence.<br/>”I want to eat something, can we?” George begged, looking straight at Thomas' eyes, trying to make sure the older man would do as he wanted. <br/>”Well that's good, we were thinking about eating too just before you came” Thomas answered, picked the small (not so small as he used to be) up. The trio started to make their way towards the closest food tent.</p>
<p>”I think this is a sign that we should start making our way back to downton abbey” Thomas said, as he lifted tired boy in his arms. He felt weak shaking of a head against his neck.</p>
<p>”But master George, you are almost asleep, and we have been quite while here. Nanny will be worried if we don't return soon” Thomas tried to convince the small boy, but there was no need to do that, since George had already fallen asleep against Thomas' warm neck. The moment made Thomas smile, and he tried his best to enjoy the feeling, because there was no quarantine that he would ever get a chance to hold someone like this again. Richard stood there, in front of him, smiling fondly, and for a small moment Thomas felt like they were their own little family.  Richard, seeing Thomas struggled a little at holding heavy boy, offered a change, and in swift movement, they managed to move the sleeping boy from one's arms to another. Then the trio started their way back to the Abbey.</p>
<p>When they had arrived to Downton, Thomas told Richard to go upstairs while he returns the little traveller to the nanny, whom thanked Thomas many times before taking George to his own bed. Thomas returned to his own room too, finding Richard already under the covers, reading some book he had taken with him. <br/>”You made it back. The nanny wasn't worried yet?” Richard asked when he noticed Thomas stepping inside the room. Thomas shook his head, while undressing before jumping next to Richard on his small bed. Not that he minded at all having to be so close to Richard. Richard pulled him straight away against his chest, hands going gently through Thomas' hair. </p>
<p>Suddenly Thomas felt like apologizing for their not so date like night. </p>
<p>”Sorry we couldn't spend more time alone.”</p>
<p>”Don't worry. I more than enjoyed the night with you and George. It was just lovely to see how much that boy adores you. Almost as much as I do.” Richard laughed, pressing a kiss on top of a Thomas' head. Relaxing, Thomas snuggle deeper into Richard's chest. He could feel his eyes closing without him wanting them to. The afternoon had taken a toll on him. He was getting old, even thought he didn't want to admit it. </p>
<p>”You know, I played a little joke with the ladies at the Fair while you and George played one of the games.” Richard whispered into Thomas' ear, waking the other man from slight slumber he had fallen in. </p>
<p>”What?”</p>
<p>”They kept talking beside me about you and George, and wondering out loud where the mother was, and why was the father and father's friend alone with the child and so on. So I just said to them that he was our child. You should have seen their faces. It was so funny that I had to leave before I burst out laughing.” Richard explained, unable to stop himself from giggling when remembering the two women's faces. </p>
<p>”What?” This time Thomas was louder, sitting up. ”What if they had called the police after us?” </p>
<p>”Well they didn't. And if they had, I'm sure we could have easily proven that you were just looking after the lord Grantham's grandchild since you are the butler of the house. And I am just your friend, who lives near here.” Richard laid down, pulling Thomas beside him. </p>
<p>Thomas still could not shake his worries.</p>
<p>”What if someone talks” Richard lifted his hand on Thomas' cheek. ”If someone really does, you can just deny it, and say you have no idea what they are talking about. And that I'm known for my jokes and must have been joking.” Thomas slowly nodded. </p>
<p>Not wanting to end the night in the mood like that, Thomas gave Richard a few good kisses before snuggling back against Richard's chest. </p>
<p>”Do I need to leave early tomorrow?” Richard asked, again stopping Thomas from falling asleep. </p>
<p>”No, you can stay and eat breakfast if you want.”</p>
<p>”I would love to.”</p>
<p>”Good, now let me sleep” Thomas muttered, making Richard's laugh the last thing he heard before falling asleep. For the first time in ages, Thomas slept through the night without any problems.</p>
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